It is hardly news that the Dodgers ownership is in a state of flailing desperation. But all of this bankruptcy and financial mumbo jumbo has taken away from what is really bringing the team down: Jonathan Broxton’s fatness. Broxton is either an evil genius or is totally oblivious to the effect he is having on the rest of the pitching staff. WTF am I talking about, you ask? As it turns out, his chubbiness is contagious. Since he joined the Dodgers, the mean weight of the pitchers has been steadily increasing. You might think that it is just his girth that tipped the scale (pun intended), but it’s not just that. Even Clayton Kershaw is starting to look a little soft around the edges. If this continues, we may see the return of the bullpen golf cart, or maybe even the rise of the bullpen Segway! In conclusion, I’m pretty sure that every time Broxton brings his glove up to his face to have a secret talk with Rod Barajas, he is actually taking a bite out of a cheeseburger.

It is hardly news that the Dodgers ownership is in a state of flailing desperation. But all of this bankruptcy and financial mumbo jumbo has taken away from what is really bringing the team down: Jonathan Broxton’s fatness. Broxton is either an evil genius or is totally oblivious to the effect he is having on the rest of the pitching staff. WTF am I talking about, you ask? As it turns out, his chubbiness is contagious. Since he joined the Dodgers, the mean weight of the pitchers has been steadily increasing. You might think that it is just his girth that tipped the scale (pun intended), but it’s not just that. Even Clayton Kershaw is starting to look a little soft around the edges. If this continues, we may see the return of the bullpen golf cart, or maybe even the rise of the bullpen Segway! In conclusion, I’m pretty sure that every time Broxton brings his glove up to his face to have a secret talk with Rod Barajas, he is actually taking a bite out of a cheeseburger.

10 months ago
  1. kingfielder posted this